On the plus side though...Shaun will be by my side though this labor and delivery. This might be a scary delivery for me (and him too I'm sure), but when he's with me there's just this comfort and peace he gives me that I can't get from anybody else. Just like when I've had a horrible day or my emotions are running on high (which they've been doing a lot lately) he can come home and wrap his arms around me and I completely forget about everything around me and that's going on.
We drove by CHOA a few weeks ago when we were in Atlanta to see where we would be spending the following weeks after Andrew's arrival and it felt so weird. Hard to explain, but I NEVER thought I would have to face this kind of thing one day. I had no idea that 10 years ago when I looked into Shaun's big beautiful blue eyes and his sweet ear to ear grin that we would come to face this with one of our children one day. Everyone dreams of having "the perfect life" when they get married and have children...but hey this is the life God has chosen for us and through every single hard time we've gone through...it's kind of been preparing me for this upcoming moment of my life.
We lose people that are so close to us and don't quite understand why, Shaun's missed the last two births of our children (which I thought that was the hardest thing I'd face at the time) and we've had more than our share of bad luck...but some how God still gives us hope and plenty of reason to smile each and every day. God gives me a smile every time Kaitlin kisses her brother (my belly) every single day (morning and anytime she has to tell me goodbye), when Maddie hugs me and spends time saying her special goodbyes and pats to her baby brother before she leaves for school, when my husband's Iron man alarm goes off at 3:30 in the morning and you can't help but just smile no matter what time it is :), when Andrew rolls and kicks and lets his mommy know he's no different than any of my other pregnancies...he's still growing, he still has a strong heart beat, his constant kicking and pushing are just little reminders that God made Andrew for a reason. He has a purpose in life and it's not fair for any of us to take that from him before he gets here. He's just going to have a little bit rougher of a start, but he's going to be a fighter and he's going to make his mark on this world one day! All of these sweet little babies that get here with CHD's are fighters. Every last one of them.
I know my son will touch the lives of all those around him. I know that I will cherish every last second I have with him, the times I get to hold him (when we are able) and all those little things we take for granted with our children...they are going to mean that much more to me. I can't wait to be thrown up on and to spend endless hours of each night watching over him, making sure all of his machines and stats are right...because that's what any loving and caring mom would do for their child. We're there when they need us, no matter what I have to sacrifice...he will know that mommy and daddy are there to fight right along with him with every last ounce in us.
Attitude gives your situation strength, your baby strength, those that may be struggling with his situation strength...but most of all it gives hope! Faith and hope and the good Lord is what has carried me through every single hard time in my life. If you dont have God in your life as your number one comforter, than of course there is going to be room for doubt, for negativity, and the overall mental attitude that breaks others down. People may not realize it, but your actions and attitude speak louder than words...
My son is coming into this world a fighter, bigger than any MMA fighter out there! :) I am going to stand behind Andrew 150% because that's what my job is to do in life. I am researching, I am watching every video or movie I can get my hands on, and I'm "fighting" to get HLHS awareness out there. Right now that's all I can do, but as soon as he gets here then it's "ding ding" mommy's going into beast mode! haha! As medicine and technology advances outcomes are getting better and better and we were surprised to find more positivity from the actual doctors themselves then all the garbage we've been reading on the internet. Most of it is outdated and just plain negative. It's enough to put anyone in a downward tail spin! So I'm pushing through with the now and Andrew's case. They are all different.
If I could have one request is for those of you to pray for our sweet Andrew, pray for all the sweet babies who are fighting or soon to begin their fight in this world, and also pray for those families that have lost their little babies to HLHS and CHD's. This is a very serious diagnosis with so many different outcomes and issues that stem from it, so any and every prayer (big or small) is greatly appreciated.
King James Bible
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.